Ever since giving birth to a child (you), my hair has done all sorts of funky things. Mainly fall out. But these things are new. These... wing things. Staring straight at the person on my left and the person on my right. No matter what I do, they won't tuck behind my ear. Your dad says, I like them, they're funny, they make me laugh. Not exactly the sentiment I'm trying to evoke with my looks.
Oh well. At least I know what I'll be for Halloween next year: