Wednesday, October 21, 2009

B is for BOB

We have finally upgraded you to a regular stroller. Until now, you have been roaming around in your car seat and $49.99 Snap-N-Go. Don't get me wrong, this is a miraculous piece of baby equipment. So easy, so small, so cheap. I will miss its convenience and its snappiness and the way it invoked a "LET'S GO!" attitude. But, it was time to move on. You were starting to look very cramped, like a basketball player riding around in a Kia. Not anymore. Now, you are part of the BOB Revolution. Nope, not a chapter in American History like it sounds, but a stroller. An epic, massive stroller:

In your BOB REVOLUTION (all caps feels appropriate), you look like a tiny little player, cruising around in your sports car on three wheels. The other day we took you to the Promenade, and as we passed the other babies in the other strollers, I liked to imagine you communicating with them Look Who's Talking style (, son). Let's say James Earl Jones narrates your thoughts.

You: What's your ride?

Other Baby (voice of Roseanne Barr): The Bugaboo. Suri Cruise Holmes had one.

You: Well I'm a part of the BOB REVOLUTION.

Other Baby: What's that?

You: I don't know.

Other Baby: Oh. Does your mom jog with you in that?

You: No.

Other Baby: Isn't it meant for that?

OKAY let's stop this nonsense. Who needs to jog when you can push a stroller WITH YOUR PINKY FINGER. That's right, I can. By the way, if you don't know James Earl Jones, here he is reading the alphabet:


  1. Go James Earl Jones!

  2. Why does James feel so strongly about these letters? G and P in particular? And what was up with M and N? - Kelsey

  3. This is almost as hilarious as your post! Was this shot in someone's brooklyn basement - I hear rats? Who wants to learn the alphabet with him anyway, he's petrifying. One mistake & the earl punts you across the room. Probably onto a rat-trap. Instead of the abc's, your child becomes a screaming multi-colored baby-ball, covered in traps. Don't say I didn't warn you.

    Side notes: he looks semi-tarded with his trap gaping open during the ackward pauses between letters, he sounds confused when he says A & L and def enjoys the letter "g" too much.

  4. PS - just noticed he had to check the cue-cards before saying "L".. must be why he sounded so unsure.