Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Jury Doodie

I have jury duty this week. Part of the reason Gigi's here is to watch you if I'm needed to report. So far I've made it 3 days, 2 more to go! But, if on that 4th night the little phone robot decides to tell me I must show up at the court bright and early Friday morning, do not fret, for I have a plan...

March, I shall, up to whom it may concern, and the following conversation will most likely take place (I will refer to "whom it may concern" as Satan):

Me: I can't be here, I am the sole caretaker for a small child.
Satan: Not a valid excuse.
Me: I nurse him.
Satan: Not a valid excuse.
Me: I am a white supremacist.
Satan: Nope.
Me: I have the swine flu.
Satan: Do you really? Because that is a valid excuse.
Me: Oh yeah, I've got it BIG time. In fact, I'm about to vomit all over you.
Satan: I'll need a note from your doctor to excuse you.
Me: The vomit might get in your mouth. That isn't good enough?
Satan: No.

Here's where I run as fast as I can out of the courtroom.

So, don't worry little boy, no one is going to put your mommy on a jury!

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