O Christmas Tree

I know you're not going to tell anyone that we've had our Christmas tree up for over 3 weeks now.  Just like I know you're going to pretend that you were wearing underwear in this picture.  And I KNOW that you're going to get over your paralyzing fear of Santa Claus so that I can get a picture of you on his lap.  For my "This Is How I Terrorize My Child" photo album.  

Trick or Treat!

We had a great Halloween!  Full of costume changes, sugar-induced meltdowns and red cup in hand trick or treating parents.    

There you are... Rapunzel, Super Why and "I-Don't-Want-To-Dress-Up" sorting through the candy we were giving out, and by "sorting" I mean hoarding some for yourselves... 

It took you a second to get into the whole trick or treating thing.  You were very judgmental when it came to choosing houses.  Take this one for instance...

3 lousy, tiny pumpkins and what's with that spotlight above the door??  And forget it if they had their lights on, door open and even a bowl of candy visible - if there were no pumpkins?  You'd say, "No, I need a pumpkin house."  

You're the boss : )

Halloween costume

Last year you were a hot dog...

AND a New York Yankee (Jeter to be exact)...

This year, you are going to be him...

No I'm serious.  And you are very well aware of it.  When anyone asks you, you say "Cee Wo Geen." And when they ask you HOW you're going to dress like him, you say "I gonna wear awl the fancy things."  I love you.

Swank Mommy

Dear Moms, Dads, Friends of Moms and Friends of Dads,

Check out this site, Swank Mommy. They make the most beautiful, customized jewelry. Here's what they did for my son...


That's his birthstone, aquamarine. What a great Mother's Day gift! Also, for Dads...


Daddy Dog Tags! Quick, order yours now for Mom's Day, Dad's Day or for no reason at all!

new york, new year!

I woke up this morning to this view outside our New York hotel window.



That's Central Park, and the white stuff is snow. Really ugly view, isn't it? I'm about to call the front desk to complain - it's too panoramic, there's way too much beauty and nature going on and I SPECIFICALLY requested a view of concrete.

Anyway, you are still sleeping (in the closet, your crib is in a closet) because we've kept you on California time this trip. I'm up, because it's too hard for my body to stay on west coast time when I'm awoken by this magnificent sight! Besides, it's New Year's Eve, and I'm too excited to sleep.

Today is the last day of the year in which you were born! You're 9.5 months old, when did that happen? I can't believe how much you have already accomplished in such a short amount of time - you have four teeth, you're practically walking, you're a baby genius, and you like to chew on lollipop lamb chop bones. I am so proud!

But that's not even why I'm excited. This time of year and this day in particular are full of memories for me. I spent 4 years in a row working in Times Square, watching the crystal ball ring in a new year. The midnight moment is magical - there is no other word to describe it. I am so happy that I can spend this midnight with you! Even though we'll be in our hotel room, far away from Times Square, and you'll be sleeping, and I'll be all alone. Hmm, am I depressed now? Nooooo. Because, this time of year is also when your mommy and daddy became, well, a thing (I'm 12). And those memories, along with the promise of memories to come in 2010, make me smile : )

Happy New Year!

Mama's First Christmas

I know what you’re thinking… don't you mean baby’s first Christmas? Nope. You read me right, I meant MAMA. There is a lot of hype about a baby’s first holiday season. But I don't think it's likely that anyone remembers their first Christmas, Hanukkah, or birthday for that matter. Do you really think you would have chosen to dress up as a hot dog for your first Halloween if you had a say in the matter? Right. As a mother, however, these firsts result in memories we will always cherish. So, I propose us moms change the way we think of these milestones, and claim them as OURS. At least for the first year. Selfish? No. CHILDBIRTH.

Back to my first Christmas as a Mama! It was a whole new ballgame this year. I traded in my holiday cocktail dress for reindeer onesies that light up and jingle. The mall, with its shops and holiday splendor, was dead to me. Shipping and handling was my new best friend. Of course, I did venture into a shopping center and waited for hours only to plop you on a bearded stranger’s lap for that jolly, terror-invoked picture. Twice. As I picked out wrapping paper, I wasn't only concerned about whether it looked good, but I wondered if the ink would be poisonous when you decided to eat it. And, when someone stole the wreath off our front door (actually happened), instead of letting it slide with a chuckle and a cocktail, I slipped into angry mama bear mode and rigged wreath number two with barbed wire.

You see, it wasn't just any old Christmas this year. I am a mother now! I was responsible for creating memories, establishing traditions, and generating warm, fuzzy feelings throughout the house. It was an awesome responsibility and one I didn’t take lightly. Which is why I declare this first holiday as OURS, moms. Enjoy everything as much as you can! Have an extra hot toddy at night. Amazon one-click yourself something special. Your job, little man? Just keep your walker away from the fire.

Jingle Bells

As I sit here, listening to "Christmas Wrapping" by The Waitresses (who?), I am bewildered at how fast time goes by. Yesterday we were shoving you in a hot dog outfit for Halloween, and now my advent calendar is showing that Christmas Eve is less than a week away. How did that happen? When did you turn 9 months old? When did I have a baby? When did I turn 30? Oh, that hasn't happened yet, okay...

Tomorrow we're heading to the desert to see your Kiki and Pops. After Christmas, we head to New York to watch your daddy count down to 2010. Then it will be January, and I'll be turning 30 in a month! Okay, I'll be turning 29, but just so you know that's like only 365 days away from 30.

The month of December has been a splendid one. Everything felt merrier because of you and your father. Even going to 3 different drug stores 4 different times to light the Christmas tree was enjoyable. (Fine, I'm lying, that was hell.) Here is just a little taste of your first Christmas at our house on Ocean Way...

Your stocking:



And here is Black Santa:



Okay that's all I got. Thank you, Choo Choo Train Meatball Jack (nicknames), for making this season so bright. Sure, we got a flat tire on our way to see Santa. Sure, someone stole the wreath off of our front door. Sure, I burnt some cookies STUPID TIMER. But none of that matters, because of you. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

M-I-C-K-E-Y

Isn't there a recession going on? Take a trip to Disneyland, you'd never know it. We took you there last week, and while it costs actual body parts to buy tickets, everyone and their mother was there. Their mothers, and their baby brothers, and their uncles and their elderly grandmothers, and their cousins Jim.

It was actually a refreshing site, to see the country up and about, happily waiting in 3-hour lines for It's a Small World (song is still stuck in my head). Refreshing, until we came across the Bibbidy Bobbidy Boutique and saw little girls who looked like this:



The disturbing part was not that these eight year olds were getting hair, makeup and nails done to look like princesses, but that their parents booked the appointments SEVEN months in advance. Really.

Anyway, enough sarcasm. We were there for your cousin's 4th birthday and we had a LOVELY time! I would donate more body parts to watch her meet Cinderella and Snow White and Sleeping Beauty all over again. You were a little too young to appreciate anything BUT, you people watched, you saw your first Christmas tree, you were surrounded by your family, and I swear you enjoyed dinner at Ariel's Grotto. Sounds like a strip club. Is that why you enjoyed it?!? No, too young...

The Ghost of Halloween

Wow, what an eventful day so far! We woke up early, you left us a spooky treat in your diaper overnight, coffee, breakfast, put together a Goblin Goulash in the crock pot, killed your pet fish, messed up a butter cream frosting for our Halloween cake...

What? I know, I was disappointed with the icing too. I must not have brought the simple syrup up to 240 degrees?! Maybe my candy thermometer is broken...

WHAT? Oh. The fish. Right. Son, I am sorry to tell you that on Halloween, 2009, your first pet, Swishy the Fishy, passed on to a better place. Why? Well, son, death is a part of life. All of God's creatures will one day go on to heaven.

Also, he really needed the water in his bowl changed and we may have overfed him. Like, a lot.

Oh Jackson, fishies don't have a very long life expectancy! There was nothing any of us could have done! Except for changing his water more often and feeding him less like we were told.

I guess we should have seen it coming. The real Swisher was benched Game 2 of the World Series. A sign? Maybe. A less clear sign than murky water, but a sign nonetheless. One can only hope that Swishy the Fishy will cast good, heavenly vibes upon us for Game 3 tonight. And one can only hope that you won't ever ask for a fish again, because your father and I are clearly NOT marine biologists.

Farewell, Swishy. You were once loved by a boy named Jackson. Happy Halloween. Go Yankees.

Happy Halloweeeeeeeen!

Our very first pumpkins as a family for our very first Halloween:

Well, they were our pumpkins. We carved them with over a week left before Halloween, and... they rotted, left a terrible blanket of black, smelly pumpkin goo on our front step, and had to be thrown out last night. You see, we're already creating holiday traditions and memories...

I'm sure you can guess which one is your dad's. By the way, you picked a GREAT year to be born a Yankee fan (like you had a choice) because they're going to the WORLD SERIES! And no, your dad's pumpkin rotting the fastest and throwing up the most goo means NOTHING. WE GOT YOU FRILLIES!

My pumpkin is the cupcake. Could you tell it was a cupcake? Or did you think it was Wilson the Volleyball from Cast Away? Answer correctly, I'm your mother.

Your little pumpkin says "boo" because, well, we drained our creative energy on our own pumpkins and couldn't think of anything else. And a meatball, after your nickname, would have been even harder to decipher than a cupcake. YES IT'S A CUPCAKE!

Trick or Treat!

Yesterday, we ordered our Halloween costumes. This is your first Halloween, and that's a big deal...for your dad and I. You will have no recollection of this holiday, but your dad and I will, and therefore we felt the need to find you a really ridiculous costume. I'm sorry. But hey, you won't be alone. This will be me:

And your father:

Can you guess what you'll be? No, not mayo...

I just noticed that you only have mustard on your dog. What the? By the way, as I searched for costume ideas online, a very popular one for babies was Michael Jackson. He was the King of Pop, and he died the year you were born. A brilliant musician, but I see something weird about dressing your baby as a pill-popping child molester, don't you? I mean, look...

You have to draw the line somewhere, and I apparently do NOT draw it at unidentifiable meat wrapped in a bun.